Thursday, May 2, 2013

Inventions to Help Mornings go Smoother

When the electricity skipped town Sunday morning during worship, I continued singing, expecting the light to return any minute. It waited, forcing my pastor-husband to scoot his pulpit under the stained-glass window, so he could see his sermon notes. Primitive, I know. But it forced me to think of the many inventions we take for granted, as well as a few new ones I wish someone would create. . .
 
 
A lever on the side of my bed, attached to a huge spring under the mattress. When my alarm clock goes off, it activates the lever, and the spring propels me into my closet, where I canon into my clothes. By the time I wake up, I’m dressed and ready for the next invention. . .
 
 
A helmet that squirts mousse, scrunches and styles my hair, then applies the perfect amount of hairspray to keep the style in place all day. Now I’m ready for my coffee with another great contraption. . . 
A hose runs from my fridge—where I keep the coffee beans—to the grinder. At 5:30 a.m., the hose sucks a pre-measured amount of beans into the grinder. The grinder crushes the beans, and another hose transports the coffee from the grinder to the coffee maker. A third hose from the faucet to the coffee maker pours water into the coffee maker. It flips on and brews the coffee. A robotic arm comes out of the wall and pours the coffee into a mug, then puts it on a conveyor belt, which travels to the loveseat where I sit each morning to read my Bible and pray.
 
 
And if the electricity goes out, I’m sure my boss will understand me being late for work. I can’t dress myself, fix my own hair, and brew my own coffee, after all. That's so primitive!
 
What are your favorite inventions? Any you'd like to see created?