Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Three Ideas to Defuse (Someone Else's) Jealousy

Are you ever jealous of friends who make the publishing process look like eating a Twinkie?” my friend asked.

            I didn’t even need to think about my answer. “Of course. I feel like, ‘What is wrong with me, that it took me ten years to birth one baby, and they are cranking out three books a year while homescooling five kids and training penguins to juggle for their church’s fall extravaganza.?’”

            Her sigh of relief was thick. It does feel good to know we’re not alone.

            But what if we find ourselves on the other side of the latte from someone whose soul seethes with jealousy because of our success? And what if that someone is a dear friend or family member? How do we overcome the hurt, confusion and feelings of betrayal when another is jealous of us?


1.      Pray for them. 
We know from our own anguish during jealous times how awful it feels to covet someone else’s success. Just as praying for those we are jealous of softens our hearts toward them, If we pray for the person who’s jealous of us, it opens doors of blessing for them and shuts doors of resentment in our hearts.
2.      Brag on them
Insecurity and lack of trust for their future success can trigger jealousy. If we affirm the person who is jealous of us, it will help them relax and trust the Lord that He has good plans for all His kids, not only a select group.  

      3.      Help them

     Are there ways we can aid fellow travelers in their own journey? Introduce them to someone who can help them, loan them a book, or share a trade secret. It will diffuse their jealousy, and make the devil mad he ever messed with us.

And if there’s anything I love, it’s upsetting Satan.


Have you experienced someone being jealous of you? How did that make you feel? What did you do? Any suggestions for diffusing jealousy that I missed?


  1. I'm not aware that anyone has ever been jealous of me but I will remember your advice if and when that ever happens. BTW, I love the picture with #3 even though I'm a dog lover instead of cat lover.

  2. This is a really, really good post, Jeanette. So true, and yet we react the opposite so often. I have been on both sides. Being kind, looking at what is really hurting them, and giving a boost--so helpful. Great words will share. (But the editor in me needs to tell you I think you mean "defuse" not "diffuse." Very different meanings. :)

  3. This is great advice, Jen. Thank you. I've been on both sides of this. We're all works in progress, aren't we? :)

  4. Hi Jeanette! Looks like you have hit a chord here. Oh my, I have been jealous of other's successes, exactly as you described. All these busy moms publishing like crazy. Where do they get the time??

    I have had some people be jealous of me, although I haven't the faintest notion why. I am a big proponent of kindness. And being real. I can't control how they will respond to that, but at least I tried to show them that I care.
    I like Karen's idea. We are all a work in progress!

  5. I too have been on both sides and in each instance, prayer is what gets you through!

    I hope you have a blessed day!

  6. I think we're all jealous of someone, even when it seems like we shouldn't be. J.K. Rowling is probably envious of Stephen King's ability to have such phenomenal success over such a prolonged period of time, despite the fact that she's the wealthiest author ever. There will always be someone that we feel is doing it better. Maybe that's good in a way. It keeps us always striving for more.


Oh, it's YOU! I'm so happy to see you here today, and look forward to reading your comments.