Ever look at your followers or friends list and find there are less than the last time you checked?
Does your brain do trapeze loops, wondering WHY on EARTH anyone would unfollow or unfriend you?
Was it the last post, so in-your-face-Jesus-lover, that offended them? Was it the snarky comment you made about people who weigh 98 pounds designing clothes that make you look like a hippo in leotards? Or simply that they found they're following too many blogs or FB peeps, and had to cut out one, so they drew a number and yours came up?
When this happens to me, I like to believe it was the last item on my list. Not that I'm afraid of offending anyone by my faith in Jesus or my sarcasm, but I hate to think modern people are so narrow-minded.
At any rate, it's all part of the social networking game, don't you think? It's good practice for receiving rejections from editors. They really don't dislike my writing, my style or my voice--they just have too many manuscripts piled up, and they had to choose one at random to chuck out the window. Okay, now I'm happy again. Let's get on with life.
Anyone of you been unfriended, unfollowed, or rejected? Please tell me I'm not alone.
I think you're probably right about that last reason being the one, Jeanette. I keep finding more wonderful blogs; then realize my time is limited; so go back and see which ones are posting more frequently & who is visiting me, etc. On that basis, I have (occasionally) quit following a blog.
ReplyDeleteI don't take it personally when someone "drops" me. In fact, I'd rather that my follower list be an accurate read on who is currently interested in my life/blog/content, etc. rather than a 5 year accumulation of anyone who ever visited....
I never look at that number:)) We need to write what God gives us. I find when I do, I meet more people that way.
ReplyDeleteHope you get some great news from an editor!
I do "unfollow" blogs. I sometimes add a blog that had a post I really liked . . . but over time discover the blog isn't exactly my cup of tea. My blog list gets too long and I want to keep the ones with consistent good content and that I am building relationship with. . . like you.
ReplyDeletefondly,
Glenda
I have a wildly divergent list of FB friends that includes Christians, atheists, agnostics, wacky "new-age" folks and even a Wiccan or two.
ReplyDeleteWhen I post my "God stuff," they either ignore it or seek to find a point of commonality. In those cases, I pray for an opening in their hearts to find the truth of the Gospel and salvation in Christ Jesus. Hopefully, by maintaining friendships with them, I can be a light when their way seems dark. At the same time, I find my Christian friends are most often the ones who unfriend or unfollow because of differences in opinion, whether over doctrine, politics, the pictures I post, or - worst of all - because of who my other friends are.
Sometimes we can be so petty!
Excellent thoughts and perspectives, everyone! Thanks for your input.
ReplyDeleteLove you!
Jen
It happens to all of us. Not 100% sure why, but, oh well..... :O)
ReplyDeleteBTW-my word verification word below was "blessers" Too cool!
Thank you so much for this post as I have been wondering why a friend deleted my comment on her blog two days in a row. That is even worse that deleting you as a friend but goes along with rejection. We need tough skins and have to learn to follow our hearts in where God is leading us to speak or write!
ReplyDeleteI think it's inevitable as we all figure out how to spend our precious 24 hours a day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved my blog to my website, I purposely didn't add a Followers widget because I was so tired of caring anymore. My goal is to build genuine friendships and have fun while I'm at it, and the numbers distracted me more than I realized.
Great post, Jeanette! Always a pleasure to stop in here. :)
I like your style!! Yes, it was just a random selection, not anything about me, that got a rejection. Great post!!
ReplyDeleteThanks
I've noticed the follower game play on Twitter. I don't follow anyone who doesn't interact with others (well, maybe ONE).
ReplyDeleteExcellent topic, Jen. Hope you are well.
Rejected by writing submissions. No one can unfriend me, 'cause I'm not on twitter....:P
ReplyDeleteI have been unfriended on FB and unfollowed on my blog. The former is sometimes due to people just getting off FB. The latter...who knows? And yes, have received my share of rejections in the writing department too. Builds character. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. :)
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Karen
Oh yes, I've been unfollowed and unfriended. It stings a little, but the next minute I'm off to something else and forget all about it. Luckily it doesn't happen too often, or then I'd start to get a little paranoid. :)
ReplyDeleteWe can be too dependent on others' approval and not enough on God's applause, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteYes, Jeanette - we can. I'm conscious of that all the time. I wish it didn't bother me one whit, yea or nay, what others thought. But my husband says if I didn't care at all, it wouldn't push me to be as good.
ReplyDeleteThere's a ditch on either side and a road that goes down the middle somewhere.
I thinks it's inevitable for every blog.You gain some, you lose some. It's the way of moving forward.
ReplyDeleteI'm not so much about the numbers or having that follow widget on my blog, but rather to offer ease to anyone who wants to follow so that they can get a snapshot of the posts in their blog roll to decide if they want to come over and read it or not. That's one way of cutting down on blog hopping time that I use.
Not everytime someone posts are they going to post something I'm interested in or vise-versa, and that's totally good with me. I'm all about saving time these days!
Don't be sad, Jeanette! Just keep posting what comes to your heart and know that God is smiling down on you!
Yep - as far as my blog goes. It'll go up a few, then down one or two. And I wonder the exact same thing! I never pay attention to my friends or followers on twitter or Facebook - so I'm not sure there!
ReplyDeleteI don't truly know if anyone took me off their reading list or their friend list. I guess I'm not very curious. I did want to take a few blogs off my reading list because I don't have time to do them all and I like things neat and tidy. I like to have the ones I read handy. Actually, my blog had some glitch and wouldn't let me delete them. So I haven't tried since.
ReplyDeleteit's easy to get hung up on the number of followers. but we just have to remember it's all about Him and not about us. at least I know that it happens to everyone!
ReplyDeleteI didn't choose to include a 'Friends' counter on my blog and I don't keep track of the numbers on my Facebook and Twitter pages because I decided right at the beginning that my cyber relationships were more about establishing relationships than numbers. I visit where and when I want to, and assume others will do the same. I know that's not a practical attitude for an aspiring writer, but it's very freeing. :)
ReplyDeleteI think more on the lines of Elenore Rosevelt who said we have to give someone permission to make us feel bad.
ReplyDeleteNow, that being said doesn't mean I don't get "hurt" at times, but then I have to stop myself and say, "Hey, I'm a child of God's and we were all created equal!"
This is cute... my word verification is "prefun", what a hoot!
Hi Jen -
ReplyDeleteI see this more on Facebook than on my blog. I think people reach that magic 5,000 mark, and realize they don't know half the people. To make room for those they do know, they snip, snip, snip.
Blessings,
Susan :)
I feel it happens more on facebook. Does it happen on blogger too? I never realised/noticed that!
ReplyDelete"..choose one at random to chuck out the window." teehee. Thanks for bringing humour to rejection! I know I am not commenting on 220 blogs per week. I'm lucky to get to 40. So it is understandable that people put their focus and time on those that they are building relationships with and let the others fall away.
ReplyDeleteI just don't pay attention, honestly. Ignorance is bliss, I guess! I will say that sometimes Facebook drops people. I've had someone contact me to ask why I de-friended them and I've looked and, sure enough, they're gone from my list and I did nothing to make it happen.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comment on Garment of Praise. I love your post here. I do not keep very good track of numbers on FB or Twitter, and use both sparingly - more FB than Twitter, I think.
ReplyDeleteI'm paralyzed by Lynn's reference to reading 40 blogs a week. I'm luck to get to ten or twelve. Too much to do and too little time.
I think I'll be checking in here often now that I've found you.
Jeanette,
ReplyDeleteYou're a beautiful soul, so keep writing for the audience of one. I love your words:)
and yes, i agree with Sarah. the numbers were very distracting for me as well, so i opted out. I still love making connections with other bloggers though, and I figure those who really want to read will subscribe in a live feed or bookmark the blog.
blessings to you!
Mel
Your name caught my eye. I just posted on facebook "Why would someone I love tell me that my blog was a waste of time?" -and they answered, "We write for an 'Audience of One.'" - How I didn't think that, I don't know - but it so released me:)
ReplyDeleteI've been un-followed - and, well, I think sometimes it is about visiting. If you don't return the favor - well, why should you allow that person constant access to your mailbox? It sounds conditional, yes - but a lot of blogging is about building relationships. Sometimes it is hard for me to get back to everyone. Instead of "subscribing" I try to keep a blog roll - and that helps me keep up better. I don't think I'm a big enough blog to get away without visiting my visitors:) Maybe it's just a southern thing.
My goodness - I have probably been de-friended aboaut 10 times in 5 years. It HURTS! Don't you wish the person would at least tell you why? Now sometimes I do know this - blogger messes up and they just delete followers for no reason or by accident. So if you know who it is - write them and ask if everything is okay.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to you and thanks for coming over and visiting me.
Love,
sandie