Friday, May 4, 2012

A Craving for Compliments

When I received a note from my mom last week, complimenting me on the publication of my book, I was surprised. I can only remember about four other times in my life of--ahem--fifty some years--that my mom paid me a specific compliment.

Yes, she's always said she loved me and was proud of me, but to say WHY she was proud, that's what made the difference. It's like a peanut butter sandwich vs. a steak, Parisienne vegetables, and a dark chocolate truffle. The one nourishes you to go through the day; the other puts a sword in your hand to conquer every doubt, and a chuckle in your belly to laugh at the devil.

For years, I craved compliments from my mom, dad, and others. I felt cheated when they withheld them. Then I learned that I could tell God I was discouraged and needed a little verbal chocolate bar, and He'd come through in His own way.

And He always does it better than I could ask or imagine.

So...after many, many years of not expecting any kind of affirmation from my mom, to read, "I love your book; I've read these stories before in your newspaper columns, but reading them again makes them much more special," was like a hug and kiss from God.

A dark chocolate truffle. Right from His hand. Wow.

Do you give many compliments? How does it make you feel when someone compliments you? Before today, did you realize you could go to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to fill up your emotional gas tank?

And not to toot my own horn, but Lisa Buske has a darling shout out on her blog today about my book called: Finally, Two Scoops for my Heart instead of my Hips!

Lovely Weekend,


  1. I can relate somewhat - have had ups and downs with my family over choices my husband and I made (like homeschooling our kids and whatnot). Dad recently read and complimented me on one of my articles. I felt like a little girl again, soaking in her father's praise.

    Thanks for sharing and for the reminder that our Heavenly Father is always there.

    Have a wonderful weekend!

  2. Jeanette, I'm reading your book right now. Thanks for the chuckles! So far my favourite is, "Honey, have you seen my teeth."

  3. We all love and need compliments. So glad your mom loved your work and told you!

  4. I needed to read this, Jeanette. It has given me a fresh perspective about dealing with a lack I've felt for the better part of my life AND reminded me I need to do better at complimenting my own daughters much more than I do!

  5. Jeanette: Some people don't realize how important it is to compliment others. On Easter Sunday, Hubby leaned over to me and told me "You did good" with the radio drama Easter play. Had no one else said anything about it, I would have been on cloud nine, just because of what Hubby said. BTW, we received several nice thoughts about the drama.

  6. I can dish 'em out like baked beans but it's acceptin' 'em I have trouble with. I begin to fight the compliment.

    What's with that??? Heeeheheh!

    God bless ya sweetie and have a fantastic weekend!!! :o)

  7. Thanks for your comments, ladies. Rebecca: I'm so glad this helped you, honey.

    Nezzy: I wonder if being the mom for so many years makes it hard to be on the receiving end? It's harder to receive than to give, I think. Giving makes me feel important and tall. Receiving means I admit I have needs. Does this make sense? Just my five dollars' worth.

  8. Ooh, I can SO relate to this. Neither of my parents are very demonstrative with praise, verbally or physically. To this day I can recall every time my mom specifically said she was proud of something I'd done without negating it by adding a way I could have done even better. As an adult I realize it's just the way she is, probably the way she was raised, and it has taught me to take advantage of every opportunity to tell my own kids I'm proud of them. Thanks for the reminder!

  9. My parents were never very openly demonstrative, but they always encouraged me in my efforts to succeed at things. I felt great when I did, and can't recall ever seeking or needing extra compliments.

    I know I give compliments spontaneously, but it never seems genuine to either give or receive them without a reason. Then again, helping to build someone's self-esteem is probably a good reason. :)

  10. Beautiful blog! I feel it is written from the heart of one who loves our Lord. I plan to get your book. I read about you and your book on Nezzy's blog.
    Hugs and smiles,

  11. How wonderful, I am glad you got that 'needed' compliment from your mom. I think Compliments are VERY important.
    I do, do........try and give out compliments whenever I get the chance. Compliments give us take that next flight we are afraid of taking.
    I always told my kids from the time they were little "you were born to be something special and do great things'
    and they have

    AND YES for cool to be able to write a book and have it published.

  12. Words can nourish us in a way that nothing else can. I'm so happy you had a special treat.


  13. Jackie: Oh please DO buy my book--that is the sweetest compliment anyone can give a writer!

    Thanks to you all for your words that nourish my soul,


Oh, it's YOU! I'm so happy to see you here today, and look forward to reading your comments.