Thursday, September 6, 2012

When Someone You Love is Jealous of You

            Are you ever jealous of friends who make the publishing process look like eating a Twinkie?” my friend asked.

            I didn’t even need to think about my answer. “Of course. I feel like, ‘What is wrong with me, that it took me ten years to birth one baby, and they are cranking out three books a year while homescooling five kids and training penguins to juggle for their church’s fall extravaganza.?’”

            Her sigh of relief was thick. It does feel good to know we’re not alone.

            But what if we find ourselves on the other side of the latte from someone whose soul seethes with jealousy because of our success? And what if that someone is a dear friend or family member? How do we overcome the hurt, confusion and feelings of betrayal when another is jealous of us?

1.      Pray for them
      We know from our own anguish during jealous times how awful it feels to covet someone else’s success. If we pray for the person who’s jealous of us, it will open doors of blessing for them and shut doors of resentment in our hearts.  

2.      Brag on them Insecurity and lack of trust for their future success can trigger jealousy. If we affirm the person who is jealous of us, it will help them relax and trust the Lord that He has good plans for all His kids, not only a select group.   

3.      Help them
      Are there ways we can aid fellow-travelers in their own journey? Introduce them to someone who can help them, loan them a book, share a trade secret.
      It will diffuse their jealousy, and make the devil mad he ever messed with us.  

And if there’s anything I love, it’s upsetting Satan.  

Have you experienced someone being jealous of you? How did that make you feel? What did you do? Any suggestions for diffusing jealousy that I missed?


  1. Empathize. We've all been there. Glad you addressed this. I get jealous, but I learn to get over it for the sake of friendship and uplifting others.

    I also like to make Satan pout.
    ~ Wendy

  2. I agree with Wendy - empathize.

    Jealousy is a funny thing. It comes and goes in waves. It doesn't happen too often, but it is strange when you're on the receiving end.

  3. Thanks so much! I've been on both ends, and neither is fun.

  4. As someone who has been on the receiving end this is a wonderful post. It is so painful to have someone you love be angry at you for who you are... not because they dislike you but because they want to be like you. Which is such a wasted emotion because the Lord made each of us with wonderful and special uniqueness that no one else can possess.

    Thanks for sharing your heart.


    1. Yes, it is sad, Kat, but wacked out emotions always are.

  5. Awesome suggestions. I never thought of it as jealousy, but I remember feeling a tad discouraged every time someone else announced a new book sale on one of the writing loops. And when my turn came it was a bit of a shock to have someone come right out and say I'm jealous of you. But wow, she then became one of MY biggest cheerleaders!

    1. Amazing! Perhaps it set her free to admit it. Then she was able to move on. This is a surprising story, Sandra.

  6. "Brag on them." I love that piece of advise. I do struggle with not letting my light shine so others will not be jealous of me. I know God wants us to shine so we can over flow His light in us on others. To my best friends I say, "Let your light shine girl!" Now, I just need to take my own advise and apply it to me! :)

    1. Yes, Lynn, you do. You have many lovely talents, not to be hidden under a bushel for fear of others' reactions to your gifts.

  7. Hi Jeanette. I am going through this right now (on the receiving end) and just to identify the way I feel - betrayed, confused, hurt ... like I did something wrong. Thank you for the blog and to others - thank you for the responses... I couldn't agreemore with 'chili pepper' who posted, "the Lord made each of us with wonderful and special uniqueness that no one else can possess."


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