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| A heart-share is good for the soul |
We are seeking wisdom from above regarding moving my Mom from California to Illinois, so she can be near us.
Since my brother died two years ago, I've become an only child. I don't like it. I feel like Mom is my sole responsibility, and if anything bad sould happen to her, it'd be my fault.
Of course there is always someone quick to say, "You SHOULD move your mom near you. She NEEDS you here, or she NEEDS to be there. My Bible says those who don't care for their family are worse than INFIDELS." I try to ignore those types of comments. But I don't always succeed.
And what about Mom? She does not want to move to the midwest. She likes her church, her apartment, and her friends where she is.
Even though she's falling more often than before, and the day will soon come when she can't drive, I still don't want to force her to relocate to a strange town, a new home, and unfamiliar surroundings, just so I can assuage my sense of guilt over not doing my duty.
And, no, there are no assisted living apartments or retirement villas near her. She lives in a very remote area of No. California that makes our rural town of 9,000 look like a metroplis!
I'm not asking for your advice, just your prayers. I know many of you have older parents, and you've had to make tough decsions regarding them. So you know how we feel, and what kinds of challenges we're facing.
There. I feel so much better after telling you. I knew you'd understand. That's why I love you like I do. Thanks.
There just aren't easy answers. I am praying for you and for her, and I know the God of all Comfort is working on her behalf already.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Shelly. I appreciate you!
DeletePraying for you, and your dear mom. I love you.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Denise. I love you, too.
DeleteWhat a difficult situation, Jeanette. I'll pray for wisdom for you.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose family hired a live-in companion for their elderly parent. This is not given as advice, just a comment about how a friend handled a similar situation.
Blessings.
Thanks, Barb. She lives in Social Security, so that's probably not a possibility, unless whomever lives in doesn't charge! HA!
DeleteThis answers my question from the other day, I wondered what you had decided. As a former social worker, I think asking for prayer is the right answer. You will know what to do when the time demands it. Honestly, we all have to deal with aging parents--been through one already and now we are watching over our in-laws. People want to be as independent as they can for as long as they can. I would too. You will do the best for her no matter what it is.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Terri. This is very reassuring to me. You are so kind!
DeleteOh, goodness. This IS a tough one. You've been in my thoughts. Will pray on this as you come to mind!
ReplyDeleteRhonda: Thank you; that's the best kind of favor you can do for me!
DeleteThis is a tough situation. Have you asked her what she wants to do? Has she visited your home in the Midwest? These are some questions to guide your thinking.
ReplyDeleteThose are great questions, Quiet. Yes, we've asked her. She wants to stay where she is. She's visited our home, but hates the thought of living here, since the winters are so cold, and she knows no one but us. Thanks for your input!
DeleteIt's a tough call, Jen. Praying the Lord gives you wisdom.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom has made two major moves after living in one city her entire life. The last one came only seven years ago. It was a tough adjustment, but it turned out well.