Monday, August 5, 2013

I Want My Money Back!

I want my money back. When I first started flying, the stewardesses wore bright orange skirts, a whole tube of mascara, and go-go boots. They gave you peanuts with your soft drink, and the dinners were free, even though they tasted like plastic dressed up as chicken ala king. Now the “flight attendants” wear plain navy blue smocks, black pants, bare eyelashes, and tennis shoes.. Only the first class passengers get peanuts, while they charge me $5 for a Barbie-sized meal that still tastes like plastic.

I want my money back. When I first got an allowance, candy bars were a nickel and it took five bites to eat one. Now they’re fifty-nine cents on sale and I can barely find my chocolate goo-goo bar hiding in its wrapper.

I want my money back. When I first started going to movies, they cost a quarter and you saw two of them. You could stay all day and watch five times if you wanted to and no one kicked you out. Now one show takes an hours’ salary, and I have to hide in the bathroom if I want to stay and see it again.

But I really want my money back for all those government studies that my tax dollars have funded over the years. I already know that sweat produces an odor, people without jobs have less money than the employed, and more humans than cows are afraid of flying.

I’d even settle for half my money back. Then I could get a first-class ticket and eat peanuts and plastic chicken ala king, go to a dozen movies, buy a hundred dinky candy bars, and do my own studies—about how the true meaning of life has nothing to do with money.




  1. Right on with all of this! So very true about the airlines. We're going to Israel in the spring and I am already greatly dreading that flight...knees probably up in my mouth most of the way, who knows what as a meal, and bathrooms that are a joke for the 24 hr. flight.

  2. I spent $6 on a latte the other day. I want my money back ... even though it was heaven in a cup! :) lol

  3. Good luck with that "money back" thing! (And what airline did you get a meal for $5 on????)

  4. Bravo! A few years ago, we were considering flying to Florida. I didn't want to go through Atlanta, so our choices was limited as to our carriers. We couldn't commit to purchasing a ticket because of some detail. Our son accessed the same site the next evening--24 hours later-- and the per ticket price had DOUBLED. We rented a car and drove.

  5. I'm with you, Jen! Have you noticed the amazing, shrinking chocolate chip cookie? If they get any smaller, they'll disappear.

    Oh, and I purchased some dishwasher detergent tabs. It came in this pretty tin and had enough plastic inside to ship my favorite book. All to "protect" 16 tiny tabs. Argh.

  6. lets not get started on the price of books! as an avid reader who lends a lot from the library but when it is an especially good book I like to buy for my own personal bookshelf I cringe and gripe and moan when I pay for it!


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