Image Vs. Character in Romance Writing And in Real Life

Is attraction only about body parts?

When I recently wrote a romance story for a women's magazine, I knew I needed to show attraction between the man and woman. But I had an issue with that idea.

Our society focuses far too much on image instead of character. The huge city my husband and I lived in most of our adult lives had a gym on every corner and healthy foods in the restaurants, but for the wrong reasons. Everyone wanted to have a skinny, buff body so they could look like a movie star. Not to live longer so their spouses wouldn't be left alone, or so they could contribute their gifts to the world around them. But to look good. To create an image instead of building a character.

That's just wrong. We are more than bodies with parts to look at. We are sprits and souls, minds and hearts, dreams and plans and fears and hopes. So I decided to fight against the focus on image when I wrote my romance story.

 

I am attracted to loyalty, faithfulness, and love of family

I mentioned lovely blue eyes flecked with amber, and a smile that turned knees to jello. But I also focused on character qualities like loyalty to family, wisdom, and a sense of humor.

Character should count more than image. In real life, it does. I'd rather have a fat, kind friend than a pretty, gossipy one. Or a faithful, plain-looking spouse than a buff philanderer. Even a C student child with an obedient spirit trumps a smart, sassy pants.

Because God looks on the heart, not the outward appearace. And His love is the greatest romance of all time.

Have you noticed  a shift away from character to image in our society? How about in the books you read? What character quality most attracts you to a person?

I Want My Way!

If you’re like me, you want your own way. I admit it. I like what I like how I like it, and I don’t want to wait for it. But that is not reality, it’s not maturity, and it’s not reflective of Jesus.

As my husband said yesterday in his sermon, “We in Christ are never free to do whatever we want. That kind of freedom always leads to destruction.”


So don’t be mad at God if He says “No” now and then. He’s saving you from some real pain. Rejoice when He says “Yes” and thank Him for the “noes.”

Do Your Gifts Outshine Your Character?



by flikr

 God interrupted the plans of a passionate young preacher when an older saint pulled him aside and said, “Son, you have an ocean of talent. But I’m afraid for you.”


“Why?” asked the young man.”

“Because your character is only a bucket or two deep—not nearly enough to sustain your gifts. If you’ll spend some time developing your character, God will be able to use your talents for His glory, and do mighty things with you.”



by flikr

 The young preacher was wise, and listened to the older saint. He spent the next few years developing his relationship with the Lord and his character. Now, when you hear him speak, it is from a heart of humility and love for his audience, not to display his great talent. God is using him to bless, not impress.

When I heard this true story, I wondered how I could develop my character, so the Lord would use me more.

Here is my short list of ways I need to grow:

1. Learn to wait with grace, finding ways to thank God and make myself useful in the meantime.

2. Love my audience: write, speak, pray, and sing to bless them, not impress them.

3. Develop a listening spirit to hear from God and readily obey His voice.

4. Stay steady in adversity, refusing to believe the lies of the enemy.

5. Grow in humility, realizing I’m not the gift, just the package it’s wrapped in.

6. Nurture a sense of security, so I don’t take criticism so personally.

7. Cultivate Godly wisdom, seeking His mind and heart at every turn.

8. Increase in self-discipline, not putting my flesh first.

9. Grow in diligence: the ability to stick to a task until it’s finished.

10. Mature in my trust and dependence on the Lord, not my own pea brain.





by flikr

I want to go farther, do more, and climb higher than I’ve ever dreamed, but not by myself. I want people to realize that if they see anything noteworthy in me, it’s because Jesus put it there. And I want them to want that same Jesus in their lives because of me.




Can you look back on your life and see areas in which your character has grown?