When we checked
into our favorite hotel, the owner said, calm as a tortoise, “Would you like to
rent some towels, Mr. and Mrs. Levellie?” Although I won the Talkathon U.S.A.
contest ten years in a row and my husband is a preacher, we were both
speechless.
“What do you mean,
rent towels? We’ve stayed here for the last five years whenever we visit our
daughter and her family. You’ve never charged for towels before.”
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| It's our new system, folks. So sorry! |
He smiled, feigning
patience. “It’s our new system. Vandalism was so high that our general manager
required us to charge for towels. But if you’d rather not do that, you can use the
body-sized blow dryer we’ve installed in all the bathrooms. Many of our guests
prefer it.”
My face turned four
shades of crimson as I imagined myself standing in front of a huge blow dryer,
body fat jiggling at 75 mph. “No thank you,” I said, “we’ll borrow some Dora
the Explorer and Bob the Builder towels from our daughter. Any other changes we
should know about?”
“Oh yes,” he grinned, “we’ve replaced the mini-steam
irons with full-sized irons.”
“Great,” said my
husband. “Last time it took Jeanette forty minutes to iron my shirt with that
little Barbie-sized iron and ironing board you gave us.”
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| Is this sympathetic enough? |
The owner looked
sympathetic. “Well, I think you’ll find this iron much faster. But be careful
when you use it—the chain is only three feet long.”
“Chain?” I howled.
“Well, we can’t
have them stolen like the towels. We chain them to the ironing boards.”
I sighed as I
picked up our room key and turned to my husband. “At least we have a bed to
sleep in, honey.”
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| A bed? Really? |
“Oh, you want a
bed?” said the owner, eyebrows rising. “That will be an extra $40, please.”
Have you stayed in many hotels? What do you like/dislike about them?



