Tuesday, January 26, 2021

Benefits of Laughter

Did you know that children laugh ten times more per day than adults do? No wonder Jesus told us to become like little children. Laughter reduces tension, lowers blood pressure, and releases endorphins, those fun little hormones secreted by the brain that kill pain and calm the nerves.
One thing that always makes me laugh is to read about dumb criminals. In fact, my husband bought me a book a few years ago by Leland Gregory entitled The Stupid Crook Book (Andrews McMeel, 2002). Here are a few of my favorites:
“A twenty-four year old man in Texas broke into a residence, stole a TV, and made a clean getaway. He was arrested a few hours later reentering the premises—he’d forgotten to steal the remote control and came back to get it.”

“A man robbed a liquor store in the Roswell area of New Mexico. Although he wore a bag over his head, the police got an excellent description of the perpetrator—the bag was plastic.”

“A man who was pulled over and cited for not carrying a driver’s license submitted to a routine search and was found to be carrying cocaine in his underwear. To absolve himself of any wrongdoing, he claimed that the underwear didn’t belong to him.”

What makes you laugh?  How many times a day do you laugh? If you'd like to add more laughter to each day, check out my book, The Heart of Humor: 60 Helpings of Hilarity to Nourish Your Soul

Tuesday, January 19, 2021

God Is So Smart

Do  you choose a word for each new year? 

This year I believe the Lord directed me to pick "Simplify." I've been de-junking my possessions and giving them to others.  When I took down a bunch of decorations off my closet doors, at first I thought, "This looks so bare. Maybe it's too simple."

But this morning as I was pacing and praying in the bedroom--part of my morning routine--I noticed I had an easier time concentrating. 

No wonder God gave me this word. He's so smart!

What is your word for this year? 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Dumb Things I Have Done

               Believe me, I did not look this great

When I was thirty-five and teaching History at a Christian School in Hermosa Beach, CA, I decided I needed to start coloring my hair. It never occurred to me that the hair color would blend with my natural color to make the final hue. In my case, maroon!

Let's Get Down to History

I'd spent my last four dollars on the hair color, so couldn't go back to the store for more and color over the boo-boo that looked like a chrysanthemum in bloom. When I walked into the school building Monday morning, several kids asked, "Did you color your hair, Mrs. L?" Finally, I made an announcement to the whole class: Yes, I colored my hair, that's why it looks so fruity, remember this when you get gray hair and learn from my mistake, now let's get down to History.

Have you ever had a hair coloring snafu? How did you fix it?

Tuesday, January 5, 2021

Why Not Do New Year's Resolutions?

I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I shatter them ten minutes into January 1st, then eat two cookies to try and drown my guilt. Then I can't zip my pants.

I set
 goals instead. They are gentler, kinder, and I can keep track of my progress on a paper tacked to my bedroom wall. Each time I put a check mark in a box next to a goal, I do the happy dance to celebrate. With this method, I can still zip up my pants!

Do you, like me, say Phooey on New Year's Resolutions? Do you prefer them, or do you set goals? Please share one or two with us.

Tuesday, December 29, 2020

What's In Your Purse?

How to Discover a Woman's True Personality by What's in Her Purse

I found a rock in my purse today. I don’t mean a pebble or a wee stone that jumped onto my key chain when I dropped it in on my front porch. I mean a rock the size of a tangerine, defiantly staring up at me from under a pack of tissues, a compact, and fourteen breath mints, jeering “mwahahahaaha! I am the reason your purse has felt so heavy since Christmas—you forgot to take me out!”

It was right. My pastor husband’s Christmas Eve sermon was about setting up memorials in our hearts to the Lord. He gave each of us a rock to place in a prominent place in our home, as a reminder that Jesus is “Emmanuel—God with us.” Mine never made it out of my purse.

You can tell a lot about a woman by what you find hiding in her purse.

*      If a limp stalk of celery peeks out from under her lipstick, she’s on a diet, and needed a quick snack to make it through the afternoon at work, but couldn't find a Ziploc baggie when she rushed out the door this morning.
*      If three candy canes at various stages of consumption are stuck to a Toys R Us receipt, she has grandkids, and forgot to give them the remains when they left to go back to Kansas on New Year’s Day. Or, she didn't forget—she just loves little reminders of her three angels who live too far away.
*      If a notebook brimming with lists of ladies’ names and plot ideas stares up at you, she’s a writer, and hates to let ideas slip out of her brain.
    And if you find a sassy rock, you’ll know she’s someone too busy to clean out her purse more than twice a
    year, is married to a preacher, and has to go to the chiropractor every month due to a too-heavy purse.

    How about you? What interesting items would we find in your purse today?