Wednesday, July 15, 2009

3 Things I Will Never, Ever, Ever Say

When we were first married over thirty years ago I read a book that said, “No matter how angry you become with your spouse, there are certain things you should never say, things you know will hurt them to their core.” That principle was taken from God’s Word, where it says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21).” With that in mind, there are a few things I will never, ever, ever say. Some of them are:

1. I’m getting Alzheimer’s—I cringe every time I hear people jokingly say this. It’s not a funny disease. You may have forgotten where you put your car keys for the tenth time this week, but that does not mean you are going senile. Instead say, “Lord, help me! Bless my brain and help it retain!”

2. I hate you (or them). Hate is a deadly emotion. It translates into wishing a person dead. No matter what another has done to upset or wrong me, even if I think the world would be better withought them, I refuse to speak these spiteful words. They are poison that will corrode my own heart and turn me bitter.

3. It’s hopeless. In the past, I said this about a situation I saw no way out of, and God made a way. Shows you how smart I am! He has ways and means up His sleeve that all of us put together could not fathom. He is good, His plans are good, and He knew this was going to happen to you before you did. He’s already planning your rescue, and it’s probably something you never imagined. Trust Him and His heart of gold. He is on your side. And I love you, too.


  1. I have used the H word twice in my marriage, and while I truly felt betrayed and hurt, I deeply regret it. So hurtful and so wrong.

    Good post Jen. I think married couples are not kind enough to each other. You picked an apt verse for this post.

  2. Too often we take our spouses for granted. I try my best not to, but I'm a sinner, so I fail sometimes. Thankfully I have a very forgiving husband.

    Thanks for the reminder, Jen!

  3. Two of mine:
    I give up.

    We need a divorce. My husband is stuck w/ me and I'm stuck w/ him. Being stuck together can be very rewarding sometimes, but hard too. We just don't allow for Plan B. I am praying this holds.

    ~ Wendy

  4. Sometimes it is just best to keep our mouth shut until we can get our heart and mind straight with GOD.
    Blessings, andrea

  5. Wonderful post, Jen. I remember when I got married, my grandmother took me aside and gave me a word of advice. (I was marrying a preacher and she was a preacher's wife.) She said to always build up your husband and never tear him down. There would be countless people ready to tear him down and my job would be to build him him...continuously. I didn't understand that at the time, but I certainly do now! What wise words!

  6. Jessica, Eileen, Wendy, Andrea and Sherrinda:
    Thanks for your comments today.
    It seems out of the 3 things, marriage issues top the list!

    Praying we all do it right. I like the idea of keeping my mouth shut til my heart is right with God! I may have to go out of town for an hour or a day to hear from the Lord--- shopping, anyone?


  7. I needed to hear #3 today:) thank you again for a great post!

  8. #'s 2 &3 convicting. Didn't know hate was a deadly emotion, wow.

    I received the CD, thank you, I've already listened to it!!!


  9. My Mom has #1, so I know how terrible that disease is-but God is good, so far she has a sense of humor about things she doesn't understand.

    I like number three, too. Your sentence about "He's already planning your rescue" gave me the lift I needed today.

    Thank you.

  10. Larie: You are welcome, Dear! So glad you liked it.

    Karen: I will pray for your mom.
    I'm so glad you got a lift from my post today.

  11. Great post!! I don't think I've ever said the "H" word to my husband. Unless it was like, "Man, I hate spinich" or something like that. LOL. There are a lot of things that slip from my tongue though that I wish I could take back. But we learn from our mistakes right?

  12. Ooh, yes. I don't allow my litle one to say "hate". That's a bad word in our house.

    Good ones, Jeanette. :)

  13. Krista: Good for you, that's wonderful self discipline!

    Jennifer: I never allowed it with my kids, either, or name calling.

    Blessings, Jen


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