3 Things I Will Never Say

Because I believe that “Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21),” there are 3 things I will never, ever, ever say:

"I must be getting Alzheimer’s." I cringe every time I hear people jokingly say this. It’s not a funny disease. You may have forgotten where you put your car keys for the tenth time this week, but that does not mean you are going senile. Instead say, “Lord, help me! Bless my brain and help it retain!”

"I hate you (or them)." Hate is a powerful, deadly emotion. It means you wish that person were dead. No matter what another has done to upset or wrong me, even if I think the world would be better if they left the planet, I refuse to say these spiteful words. They are like poison that will corrode my heart and make me bitter.

"It’s hopeless." In the past, I spoke these words over a situation I saw no way out of, and God made a way. Shows you how smart I am! He has ways and means up His sleeve that all of us put together could not fathom. He is good, His plans are good, and He knew this was going to happen before we did. He’s already planning our rescue, and it’s probably something we never imagined. We can trust Him and His heart of gold. He is on our side.

Life. Or Death. We get to choose by what we say. I choose life. 

I believe you do, too. 

 

Five Words That Will Change Your Life

In all the years since Debbie left L.A. to move to Denver, I never told her how the five words she taught me changed my life. Twenty years flew over us like a streak in the inky sky before I thought to thank her for those five words.

When we moved into a beautiful new home, she said them. When my kids got awards, my husband got a new job, and I had my first paying article published, she spoke them. Even when I received things other friends might have been jealous of, Debbie never withheld those five precious words.

She didn’t realize how she was changing my thinking, helping me become a better friend, and grow from selfish to joyful with her five words.

 

You have probably guessed by now what they are: 

I’m so happy for you.

(I know, all you English majors, that I’m is a contraction, and thus equals two words. But don’t you think Five Words that Can Change Your Life sounds snappier than Six Words that Can Change Your Life?  So, you’ll just have to forgive me.)

The element I loved most when Debbie spoke these five words was that I knew she meant them. Because of her sincerity, those words changed the way I relate to others when they receive blessings. Debbie’s words made me realize how soul-nourishing it is to have someone rejoice with you when you rejoice, rather than feeling envious of the goodness coming your way.

 

Because if I’m brutally honest, I must confess that it’s easier for me to “weep with those who weep” than it is to “rejoice with those who rejoice.” I can take your hand and cry with you if you’re crying. But to say, “Wow, that’s marvelous!” when you’re doing the Snoopy dance, takes maturity. And to dance with you takes unselfish love. Especially when you just received something I’ve wanted for years.

When I’ve pushed aside my immature thoughts and chosen to act in love, I’ve discovered a joy that runs deep. If I can sincerely share in your blessings, my heart grows two sizes. I go from Grinchy to Gracious.

So, whether I change your life or not by saying, “I’m happy for you,” it’s worth the change in me.

What words have changed your life or thinking? Have you thanked the person who spoke them to you?

P.S. I will be offline for the next ten days, visiting my mom in CA. Please pray that my words to her will add grace to her life.

Winners and Wranglers

The Winner of Patti Lacy’s newest book, The Rhythm of Secrets, is Rhonda Schrock from The Natives are Getting Restless, a warm, humorous blog about Rhonda's adventures in raising four boys.

Congratulations, Rhonda! I know Patti’s brilliant writing will bless and inspire you.

I believe all readers and writers are winners, because words contain the power of life and death. God said that. He also said to live at peace with everyone, as much as it depends on you. However…

Do you ever wrangle with your spouse, parent, sibling or co-worker about silly issues? Kevin and I got in a dumb argument this morning over how the foam insert in my post-surgical boot was constructed. By the time he dropped me off for work, I was so mad, I was ready to head for Colorado and wrangle a herd of horses!

What is the silliest argument you’ve ever had?

3 Things I Will Never, Ever, Ever Say

When we were first married over thirty years ago I read a book that said, “No matter how angry you become with your spouse, there are certain things you should never say, things you know will hurt them to their core.” That principle was taken from God’s Word, where it says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21).” With that in mind, there are a few things I will never, ever, ever say. Some of them are:

1. I’m getting Alzheimer’s—I cringe every time I hear people jokingly say this. It’s not a funny disease. You may have forgotten where you put your car keys for the tenth time this week, but that does not mean you are going senile. Instead say, “Lord, help me! Bless my brain and help it retain!”

2. I hate you (or them). Hate is a deadly emotion. It translates into wishing a person dead. No matter what another has done to upset or wrong me, even if I think the world would be better withought them, I refuse to speak these spiteful words. They are poison that will corrode my own heart and turn me bitter.

3. It’s hopeless. In the past, I said this about a situation I saw no way out of, and God made a way. Shows you how smart I am! He has ways and means up His sleeve that all of us put together could not fathom. He is good, His plans are good, and He knew this was going to happen to you before you did. He’s already planning your rescue, and it’s probably something you never imagined. Trust Him and His heart of gold. He is on your side. And I love you, too.