Up until last week, I’ve taken all the rejections my agent forwarded to me with a grain of salt. But when I received a somewhat unkind letter last week, I went through the Three Stages of Writer’s Grief:
The Toddler: “Waaaahhhh! They didn’t have to say my writing wasn’t the caliber they are looking for; a simple “we pass” would’ve sufficed. Besides, they didn’t say what about my writing they didn’t like, so how is this supposed to help me? I need my pacifier—in the form of a chocolate bar!”
The Teenager: “Yeah, right! So, they only publish twelve titles a year, and this forces them to be discriminate. Like all the other publishers out there are indiscriminate? Like they just dig into their slush piles, pull one out with a squiggly font they like, and publish it?”
The Adult: “Oh well. This publisher obviously wasn’t the one for me. When the perfect one comes along, they’ll love my manuscript. At least they got back to us right away, and didn’t leave us hanging on, wondering for weeks or months.”
Been there, done that?
Any stages of writer’s grief I missed?
How do you turn rejection into a springboard for growth?
I am so sorry that you have to deal with rejections from publishers.
ReplyDeleteIt would have been kind of them to offer what the "inadequacy" was in your writing. As if!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe right one is coming!
How 'bout "Cynical Old Man" stage? Those publishers are completely clueless!
ReplyDeleteAfter 30 years as an editor in this crazy business, I've come to the conclusion that a) editors have no clue what will sell (think THE SHACK), b) decisions are made by the marketing department who have no clue what will sell, and c) publishers' only hope is that a few of their many titles will actually sell.
You're a great writer! Keep persisting and you will be published!
Oh man, I'm sorry. :-( I loved your baby line about sucking on a chocolate bar. Sounds pretty good to me. lol
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason I'm here to comment at just about every post. I enjoy your writing thoroughly!
ReplyDeleteAnd I want me one of those chocolate pacifiers too! :D
~ Wendy
Ah, Jen! What a great way to outline the stages of Writer's Grief! Loved it! Glad you and your agent are continuing to keep at it!
ReplyDeleteKEEP AT IT!! Those of us who write understand exactly what you described. And the idea of a chocalate pacifer would certainly not get "rejected". Love to you
ReplyDeleteClella
KEEP AT IT!! Those of us who write understand exactly what you described. And the idea of a chocalate pacifer would certainly not get "rejected". Love to you
ReplyDeleteClella
Sorry about this, hon. I will pray God gives you wisdom on the next path to take with your writings. I just know there's a place for it.
ReplyDeleteMy dear daughter is so resistant to my outside critique of her school writing. I don't have 'the gift' and she knows that. What she doesn't know is that her editor someday won't be so kind. I don't know how to prepare her for what you are currently going through.
I'm getting the 'teen' stage from the teen....
Aw, Jen, big hug! How about commiserating with your writer buddies as a stage? Thanks for letting us kiss the boo-boo and put a kitty bandaid on it.
ReplyDeleteI love your writing and will be the first on line to purchase it (if I can outwit Kevin). :)
Blessings,
Susan
How did you know I like Kitty band aids, Susan?
ReplyDeleteThis is good, Jen! Thanks for your honesty! I think I did all 3 with my latest rejection! Fortunately, I had other things to occupy my time (daughter's highschool graduation party to plan...)and had a local publication pick up one of my articles! All in all, I know my Father has a plan!! I just need to be patient with the process and grow with each bump in the road! God bless!
ReplyDeleteI think we were on the same wavelength last week( and yes I know that is so cliche..but true!!)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about the rejection:( I tended to act like the child when mine happened. But trying hard to be the adult this week. They stink and hurt and feel so wrong but always always make us into better writers!
Oh, Jeannette, it's so hard not to feel something with rejection letters, even if your mind knows the business. I'd say there is the, "Snob-I don't care if they don't like me," but inside you do. I know there's a plan for that book. All in His time. Blessings
ReplyDeleteLOVE this metaphor. The next stage--the springboard--is very important, too. I have a tendency to send things back out immediately, and I know others who sit on them too long. Balance is difficult in that situation!
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love the sound of the teen you! I'm STILL holding you up in prayer. Everything in His time right? Oh how He loves us!!! I'm waiting on agents and it's hard. Oh how I wish I was waiting on publishers. The grass is always greener where you water it right? ;)
ReplyDeleteJeanette - very creative way of describing writer's grief! Yes, been there. wb
ReplyDeleteRough day. I know you will find the right publisher for your book!
ReplyDeleteSo true... you described the stages perfectly!
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ReplyDeleteJen:
ReplyDeleteI like the teen-age response. In the vein of "What do they know anyway."
Seriously, sometimes the wrong person reads it.(or so I'm told.)
Isn't there a dive-into-chocolate-head-first stage? No? Whoops!
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy my blog as much as I have yours.
ReplyDeleteVery insightful! I am now a follower.
God Bless, Bob West
http://westbob.blogspot.com/2010/05/god-vs-science.html
Just today, in fact, I was forwarded an email from a client that mentioned something about "struggling with" the "quality" of my writing. First reaction? It hurt. Second reaction? We have different styles/tastes. I'm trying to stick with the latter :) Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're dealing with the disappointment of rejections right now. We know they're inevitable, but when we're looking for a "yes" it's hard to see anything positive about a "no". I read somewhere that one woman saves all her rejections, shreds the paper and makes beads out of it. She intends to make the beads into a necklace and wear it to her book launch as the perfect revenge when she's finally published! I love it!! At least the humour, like a bit of sugar, helps swallow the bitter disappointment.
ReplyDeleteChin up. God's time for you will come.
Carol
Loved this. Very funny. So glad you could turn a hurt into a sparkling post. Too bad. It was their loss.
ReplyDeleteOh I love this post! Great descriptions of the various stages. I've been each one of those, for sure. My agent has forwarded me a few rejections recently, too. Exactly why I keep a few bags of peanut M&M's in the cupboard. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. Maybe that means, though, that you'll be one of the great ones. The ones who make it always say they took a lot of those rejections, but kept on going.
ReplyDeleteI know you're a "keeper-onner."