Tuesday, December 29, 2015

No More New Year's Resolutions

I never make New Year’s resolutions. I’m too hard on myself when I break them--which I always do. Then I end up feeling guilty, and that’s a waste of time. So I set goals instead, and post them on my bedroom wall, where I review them every couple of months to remind myself of what I’m shooting for. I have six month goals, one year goals, five- year goals, even lifetime goals. But I have noticed something about them over the years. They change.
            It used to be important to me to look younger than I am, and be known as a classy lady. Now I just try to hide the wrinkles and gray hairs, and treat people with respect. I figure they may not notice the lack of ruts on my upper lip or the label on my purse, but they will remember if I make them feel special and important.

               When I first began presenting in public and writing, I based my success on how many compliments I received after a gig or book review  If someone snoozed while I was singing or speaking, or gave me a two-star review, I took it personally. I had actually bored them to sleep. How much closer to horrible can you get?
             Then my focus changed from a need for affirmation to a desire to be genuine and help people know my loving Father. It’s fun to entertain. It’s more fun to know you have made someone’s day by lifting them up. If a person went to sleep while I was singing or speaking today, I’d silently chuckle and pray they’d have good nap! If I got a one or two-star review on a book, I'd be happy that the world could see my reviews are genuine!
                I can’t name the date and time this radical change took place in me. I recall no magical moment in time when I heard God speak in thunderous tones: “You are focusing on the shallow. I hereby change your heart, so you are more interested in character than image.”
           But I began to observe people who who are genuinely happy and fulfilled. Those whose have a spring in their step and a light in their eyes, who like themselves. Those people maintain a sweet, abiding relationship with Jesus. They are not as affected by their circumstances or the negativity all around them as they are their faith in the living God.
            I don’t notice how those faith-filled people look; I simply feel good when I’m around them. And I want to make other people experience that goodness when they share the same spot in the universe with me. Therefore, I decided to focus on my attitudes instead of my achievements. It’s one of the lifetime goals…
I have a ways to go before I'm 102!

Not that I won’t be still working on getting rid of wrinkles and grey hairs when I’m a hundred and two.  But hopefully I’ll be so sweet by then no one will notice.   

P.S. If you'd like to win a copy of my newest book, Shock the Clock: Time Management for Writers and Other Creatives, please join me on Darlene Franklin's blog today. 


  1. What a wonderful, healthy attitude. I hope some day I can adopt it.

  2. Oh, yes our goals do change, don't they? I often have to remind myself to accept myself completely as I am, instead of measuring to a standard of other's opinions. So strive for peace, and pray to be discerning of what 'advise' to take in from others to grow more into me (rather than to grow more like others). Happy New Year J!


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