If I perceive that the reason my husband interrupts me is because he thinks what I have to say is unimportant, am I afraid he thinks I'm stupid? Or am I afraid I truly am stupid?
If I get my dander up because my mother seems to imply that I handled something in an inept manner, am I afraid of her opinion of me? Or am I afraid that I am inept?
If my books don't sell well, am I afraid that I others will view me as a poor writer? Or am I afraid I really am a poor writer?
I don't know.
This is why I believe Jesus nudges me to explore why I
overreact to certain people and situations so vehemently; why my emotions spin out of control when someone pokes a wound I thought was healed. Seeing that it's still open and very sore, not healed at all, embarrasses me. But it also makes me want to know: why hasn't it healed? And what am I afraid of?
What are you afraid of? Are you willing to invite Jesus into your wounds, to explore with you the roots of your pain and fears? Do you believe he can and will heal you? If I'm gutsy and real, I can say that I'm afraid of more than I'd like to admit. And I am willing to ask the God who loves me to walk with me into the pain. I believe healing awaits me there, in His embrace and through His Words.
That's why I never quit asking myself,
"What are you afraid of?"
Hmmm! I have often thought I wasn't afraid of anything. But, then I grew up,:) I overcame my fear of being alone. Or I couldn't be a writer. I think one of my fears is of the unknown. Another one that bothers me is
ReplyDeletea fear of failure or perceived failure, thought of by others as a failure. God helps me with these 'hang ups' I have. Anymore, I don't give them much thought.
Good question to ask ourselves Jeanette, I often ask myself 'what is the worst that can happen?' when dealing with a certain situation.
ReplyDeleteHi Jen! What an interesting question. I never thought of fear being a driver for overreaction, but it does make sense. There are times when I say to myself, "I'm not going to let this bother me." Then I get mad anyway! Why do I do that?
ReplyDeleteI have to look at the next situation with different eyes.
PS You are a good writer!
Blessings,
Ceil
Thanks, Ceil, that made my day!
DeleteJen