Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Why I Want My Money Back

I want my money back. When I first started flying, the stewardesses wore bright orange skirts, a whole tube of mascara, and go-go boots. They gave you peanuts with your soft drink, and the dinners were free, even though they tasted like plastic dressed up as chicken a la king. Now the “flight attendants” wear plain navy blue smocks, black pants, bare eyelashes, and tennis shoes. Only the first class passengers get peanuts, while they charge me $5 for a Barbie-sized meal that still tastes like plastic.

I want my money back. When I first got an allowance, candy bars were a nickel and it took five bites to eat one. Now they’re eighty-nine cents on sale and I can barely find my chocolate goo-goo bar hiding in its wrapper.

I want my money back. When I first started going to movies, they cost a quarter and you saw two of them. You could stay all day and watch five times if you wanted to and no one kicked you out. Now one show takes an hours’ salary, and I have to hide in the bathroom if I want to stay and see it again.

But I really want my money back for all those government studies that my tax dollars have funded over the years. I already know that sweat produces an odor, people without jobs have less money than the employed, and more humans than cows are afraid of flying.

I’d even settle for half my money back. Then I could get a first-class ticket and eat peanuts and plastic chicken ala king, go to a dozen movies, buy a hundred dinky candy bars, and do my own studies—about how the true meaning of life has nothing to do with money.


  1. "Now one show takes an hours’ salary"

    An hour's salary?? What on Earth do you do to make that much money in an hour?? ;-D

  2. Oh, I love those airline peanuts! And I remember going to the local store and buying penny candy back in the day. You know, sometimes Big Lots has different candy bars for a lot less than we buy at the store. Oh, I remember going to the movies also and not paying much at all. I can see why you want your money back, Jeanette. : )


  3. Jeanette: Hershey bars cost $1.25 at our CVS. From time to time, I have to have at least one. Movies are not anything we go to. We do watch the old ones on television. Most of those studies are "Pork Barrel" projects, designed to fritter away the tax money. I agree with you, "I WANT MY MONEY BACK."

  4. And then there's the phrase on some peanut bags that say...may contain peanuts! Duh! I remember tootsie rolls were 2 for 1 cent. Bread four loaves for a dollar. Movies used to have cartoons before the movie and now we sit for 20 minutes watching previews of movies that most I care not to waste my money on. Funny blog post and thanks for making me smile at the end of a work day! God bless!

    1. Becky: You must be the same age as us! Isn't that wild about the peanuts? HA!


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