Showing posts with label I just went in for milk and bread. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I just went in for milk and bread. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

Shopping Snafu


Has This Shopping Snafu
Ever Happened to You?

I just went in for milk and bread,
I never meant to lose my head,
But by the time I’d reached the door
My cart was dragging on the floor.

 
“What happened?” cried my shaken spouse,
“You bought enough to fill a house!”
“But honey, dog food was on sale
And I couldn’t pass up half price kale!
 

Just look at these socks with rainbow toes,
And polka dot tissues to blow your nose!
I had to buy snow cones, three for ten,
And chicken livers to feed Uncle Ben, 
 

Who loves to pop in unannounced, you know,
I’ll feed him persimmons—just look how they glow!”
I grinned and I gloated, I basked in delight,
That I’d found such bargains for our budget tight.
 

Did it really matter we didn’t have dogs?
Or despised that ol’ kale? We’d feed neighbor’s hogs!
I guess I’d forgotten poor Uncle Ben’s passing,
But fried chicken livers would be such a blessing
 

At the next carry-in on our 5th Sunday dinner,
As a shopper, no doubt, I reigned as the winner!

©Jeanette Levellie

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Free Copies of CWMG and Army of Ermas

I have two copies of The Christian Writers Market Guide, the 2008 and 2009 editions, free to the first two people who ask for them. I only ask that you pay the postage. Leave your email address in the comments here, and I'll get your addy. I hate to waste this rich resource!

I'm posting today at Army of Ermas, the humor blog I contribute to.
Pogo over and join the fun!

Love,
jen

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Caution: May Contain Nuts

If you've ever gone to the store for two items and ended up with a cartful, you may enjoy this nutty poem I wrote as a result of a prompt for my writing group.

I just went in for milk and bread,
I never meant to lose my head,
But by the time I’d reached the door
My cart was dragging on the floor.

“What happened?” cried my shaken spouse,
“You bought enough to fill a house!”
“But honey, dog food was on sale
And I couldn’t pass up half price kale!

Just look at these socks with rainbow toes,
And polka dot tissues to blow your nose!
I had to buy snow cones, three for ten,
And chicken livers to feed Uncle Ben,

Who loves to pop in unannounced, you know,
I’ll feed him persimmons—just look how they glow!”
I grinned and I gloated, I basked in delight,
That I’d found such bargains for our budget tight.


Did it really matter we didn’t have dogs?
Or despised that ol’ kale? We’d feed neighbor’s hogs!
I guess I’d forgotten poor Uncle Ben’s passing,
But fried chicken livers would be such a blessing


At the next carry-in on our 5th Sunday dinner,
As a shopper, no doubt, I reigned as the winner!


JEL, 05/04/2010