Wrestling with Time

If you often find yourself wrestling with time, I like you. You remind me of me. Although I’ve authored a book on time management, I often struggle to manage my minutes and days, trying overcome the tyranny of too-much-to-do. 

And now that we're two weeks into 2018 and New Year's resolutions have probably been tossed out with the trash, we all need some cheer leading. 

Here are the three tips that help me most when I'm wrestling with time: 

Tune in to the Lord early in the day. The longer our to-do list, the more we need God’s input. When we make time to read the Bible and talk to our Heavenly Father, He supernaturally helps us manage the rest of our day.

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Try saying “no” without apologizing. “NO” is not a four-letter word. If we’re stressed and worn out, it’s likely we’re overcommitted. When we say “no” to a new TV show or a project that won’t bear fruit, we are saying “Yes” to God’s plan for our lives—and more time!

     Tackle clutter. Most of us—myself included—have too much stuff.  Clutter control steals from our callings, our careers, our families, and our churches. The simpler our environment, the more time we have to do what matters most.

I believe we can win the wrestling match with time. After all, we have the finest coach in history: Jesus!

What are your biggest time challenges? Please write them in the comments and I'll make a special note to pray for you. 

3 Reasons We Say "Yes" When We Need to Say "NO"

In the ladies Sunday school class I teach, one beautiful, gracious sister mentioned her habit of often saying "yes" when she really needed to say "no." ALL of us related. It got me to thinking: WHY do we--especially women, but sometimes men--say 'yes' when we know we need to say 'no,' even when 'no' is healthier for us in the long run? Here are three possible reasons:

We're afraid of hurting someone's feelings.  A lot of us grew up with "we can't hurt their feelings" quoted to us with the same importance as Scripture. We learned that keeping the peace was more important than doing the right thing, or the wise thing. So we say "yes" when we should say "no," and WE end up getting hurt.

Yes is easier than no. Very often, it's easier to say "yes," than to explain why we're saying "no." But if we are secure and confident, we can get to the place where we don't feel the need to explain or justify our every decision. If the person we're saying "no" to cannot accept it, that's not our fault. 


We like to please others. We want everyone to like us. We mistakenly think if we say "no" to people's requests, they will not be happy with us. But if they need us to agree with them all the time in order to be happy, they are not healthy. If they truly love us, they'll be okay with hearing "no" once in awhile. If we love ourselves, we'll be okay with saying "no."

NO is not a four-letter word. We don't have to be angry to say it. 
In fact, it sets us free to say "YES" when we really mean it. Try it on for size. Look in the mirror and say "NO" five times with feeling. I guarantee it will feel more comfortable with each time.

Is it hard for you to say "no"? 
Why do you suppose Jesus never had difficulty with saying "no"? 
Can you start right now to see "no" as a freeing word? 

NO Is Not a Four-letter Word: Setting Boundaries for Good

           

“Oh, boogars. I thought I made it clear that I didn’t want to be an officer of the Missionary Mamas again. Now they’ve gone and nominated me for secretary. Dawn says no one else is willing to take it,”  I whined to my husband.

            “Just say no, Jeanette. It's not a four-letter word. These ladies know you are writing two books, working a full-time job, teaching a Sunday School class and leading worship. Plus, feeding our houseful of cats takes up the rest of your spare time.” He ducked as I threw a pillow at him.

“They’ll understand. And if they don’t, oh well. You can’t be all things to all women.”

            “But what if no one else will take the office?”

            “You are not solely responsible for filling the offices for the Missionary Mamas, Honey. And if no one fills the offices, maybe it’s time to end that ministry. Perhaps its mission is fulfilled.”

            I trudged to the phone to call Dawn. My chest felt heavy, knowing I was going to disappoint her. Yet I needed to let God lead me, not the needs and desires of others. Kevin was right. She did understand. Two days later, they’d found someone else willing to serve.  

 

      I’ve never had an easy time saying “no.” Yes is such a pleasant word, a fun word to say. It’s the word autumn leaves make when they dance before the Lord in the afternoon sun. It’s what you tell the minister on your wedding day when he says, “Do you take…?” Doesn’t it make everyone happy when you say “yes?”

NO.

I had to learn that saying “yes” when I needed or wanted to say “no” was an excuse for not setting boundaries. With my kids when they wanted to stay up too late or watch too much TV. With my students when they treated me disrespectfully. And with those we pastored when they wanted me to lead vacation Bible school, write newspaper ads for the fall revival, and sing solos every Sunday.

None of those things are wrong. But if I say “yes” to them to please people, I leave God out of the equation. I fail to fulfill the role He has mapped out for me. And I hinder whomever He has called to do those things.

           When I have the courage to set healthy boundaries, I enjoy the things God has told me to say “yes” to. I give others the opportunity to grow in their areas of expertise and develop courage to try new things they weren’t brave enough to try before, because “Jeanette always does that.”

I may not be as popular as I was in my “yes” days. But my heart sings with the freedom that results from saying “no.”

How is your No-ometer working these days? Do you need to practice saying "no" more often, or are you adept at setting boundaries for good?

NO is Not a Four-letter Word

Do you find "yes" easier to say than "no"?

Then you'll love and laugh at my post at The Pastor's Wife Speaks, where I tell about the time I had to stand up to the Missionary Mamas.

Oh, noooooooooooooooooooooooo!