Fix Those Holes in My Heart, Jesus!

I'm forever asking God to fix all the holes in my heart, help me be more like Jesus. I figure after knowing Him for over fifty years, I should be more "together" than I am. 

Recently He spoke to me  as I poured my empty soul out to Him in my prayer journal. His voice deep in my heart was a sweet but solid: “You are trying too hard. You cannot force grace; it flows from My heart. It isn’t wrenched out by effort on your part. You can’t fill yourself or grow 
yourself up.”

Oh. I knew that. Then how did I forget ? I had allowed that pesky demon, fear, into my life. Fear that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn't "do Christianity the" right way. Fear that God was disappointed in me … Have you been there?

I purposed in my heart to allow God’s grace to flow into my tank, filling me up with Him instead of trying to run this race myself. After all, it's not about me. It's about this gift of communication He's given me, burning a hole in my heart, compelling me to tell everyone I can how exquisite is this God that I love and serve.

What about you? How do fears paralyze you, hindering you from being and doing all God has called you to? I will stand with you in prayer in this fight against the enemy of our souls and destroyer of our dreams. We are a threat to Satan because we carry the source of life--Jesus--to a dark world.

My word to you today is: You can do this. You can be whatever the Lord has put in your heart. God is on your side. He believes in you and so do I. Just let Him love you into wholeness. 

Tattoos of Grace 2

Ron and Jeanette

In my post Tattoos of Grace I,  I shared with you how I discovered my son's Robot Executive tattoo. Although I didn't like the idea of a permanent picture on my (twenty-something) baby's arm, I respected his right to have one. 

But his second tattoo convinced me of the value of this art for nourishing the soul. In certain cases. 



Several years after Robot Executive's arrival on Ron's shoulder, I noticed a second tattoo on his other arm. It was a simple drawing he'd found in one of his dad's old clip art books. 

A hand gripping a rubber stamp that read "APPROVED," which had been imprinted on the surface below it. 

I stared at it for a minute before speaking. "Wow. I think you prophesied on this one, Ron." 

"Oh no, Mom, I just thought this was kinda funky and cool. There is nothing deep about it." 

But I--the Mama--knew better. I recalled all his years of self-doubt, asking the Lord for direction in his career, wondering where he fit in the whole puzzle of life. Now it seemed he had come to a place of accepting himself and the gifts God had placed in him. He was embracing the Lord's approval of Ron Levellie as a person, not for the laughs he could elicit from others or the good deeds he could do. But for himself. Made in God's image. Approved. It was more than just a fun piece of art stuck on his upper arm. 

It was a tattoo of grace.

At least, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. It helps me accept the tattoos on my son, and it helps me see that if we are in Christ, we're approved by God, regardless of our differing tastes and styles. So there. 

Do you think we unwittingly make statements about ourselves by choices we make? 
Have you ever changed your mind about something, like I did about my son's tattoos? 
Do you have a tattoo?

Feelin' Ugly?

God Thinks You're Lovely, No Matter How You Feel
copyright 2009, Ron Levellie

 

 

Do you ever feel ugly? I don’t mean zits, wrinkles, or warts ugly. I mean the kind that creeps into your soul unaware and then rushes out your mouth and mugs your loved ones when you and they least expect it.

                  A snarky word in response to an innocent comment.

An accusation based on your insecurities and emotions.

                  A meltdown when you feel overwhelmed by too much life and too little time.

Then afterwards, you look in the mirror—whether it’s a glass one, or your soul glaring back at you one—and you think, “you are so ugly.” 

It isn’t true, you know.

Just because you acted from pride, insecurity, or foolishness, is no proof that you are an ugly person. You feel like a failure because you didn’t live up to your expectations of someone who loves with mature responses. And you’re disappointed in yourself.  

But God wasn’t surprised. He knew about those owies in your heart. And He already planned a way to get you out of them.  

It’s called grace. 

It means extending kindness and favor to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Only Jesus can give us the confidence we crave.

And really, none of us do. Deserve God’s grace, I mean. It’s only because of Jesus’ blood that we can be God’s children. It has nothing to do with how we behave.  

·         Believing that will help us overcome our insecurities.

·         Receiving it will help us control our foolish attitudes.

·         Choosing to forgive ourselves and start over will help us grow up emotionally.  

Everyone has owies in their heart. We discover them when we act ugly. But we don’t have to believe the lie that we ARE ugly. Through God’s grace, we can begin again.  

It’s a new day, you LoVeLy YOU. Be kind to yourself, and receive God's grace.

I hope you will extend grace to me as I take a short break from blogging to visit my grandkids. I'll be back soon!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Much Alone Time do You Need?

A sob caught in my throat when I answered his question. Relief flooded through me with the realization that he understood. I no longer had to be afraid of hurting his feelings by saying, "I need to be alone."

We were planning a trip for my husband--and possibly me--to visit his family across the country. Which would've been dandy if that's all we had on our plate this year. But since I:
       

published a book and am working hard to market it;

          spoke 15 times this year and have three more gigs to do;
          did three book signings and have another coming up;
          am trying to care for my elderly mother from IL to CA;
          gave two radio interviews and have two more to do;
          work full-time managing an office supply store;
          am a preacher's wife, teach Sunday School,
          and lead Children's Church;
          need to visit my grandkids who live 10 hours away at least twice a year...

...a plane trip across the country did not sound relaxing to me. Five days home alone with the cats and my computer did. But I hated to say to my honey, "Can you go alone so I can  be alone?"

He solved it for me when he asked, "Would it help you to just have some time by yourself, Jeanette?"

That's when I cried. I knew I was stressed and overworked, but didn't realize how much until I was offered the opportunity to get alone for a few days and simply be. Even as I typed those words, I sighed the happiest of sighs to think of the quiet in my house those five days.

I am a people person, and love working with, speaking to, and teaching people. But once in awhile I need to get off the merry-go-round and be alone. Otherwise, the spring of living water in my soul dries up, and I am less than gracious and not very funny. And that's not good. Grace and humor are good. I've found in order to produce them best, I need alone time.

What about you? How often do you find yourself craving quiet and aloneness? What is your favorite way to refresh your sagging soul?

Welcome!

Welcome to Audience of One, where we will explore together the joy of writing for God, to drink of His overwhelming love and feast on His grace.

Fasten your seat belt! I am anything but a boring driver!

My goal is to inspire, encourage, and provoke. Hopefully, I'll be able to tickle your socks off, too!

God is an adventurer, always taking us places we thought we weren't ready for. His Spirit yearns to grow us beyond our believability and soar us to impossibilities.

Are you ready?