Fix Those Holes in My Heart, Jesus!

I'm forever asking God to fix all the holes in my heart, help me be more like Jesus. I figure after knowing Him for over fifty years, I should be more "together" than I am. 

Recently He spoke to me  as I poured my empty soul out to Him in my prayer journal. His voice deep in my heart was a sweet but solid: “You are trying too hard. You cannot force grace; it flows from My heart. It isn’t wrenched out by effort on your part. You can’t fill yourself or grow 
yourself up.”

Oh. I knew that. Then how did I forget ? I had allowed that pesky demon, fear, into my life. Fear that I wasn’t good enough. That I didn't "do Christianity the" right way. Fear that God was disappointed in me … Have you been there?

I purposed in my heart to allow God’s grace to flow into my tank, filling me up with Him instead of trying to run this race myself. After all, it's not about me. It's about this gift of communication He's given me, burning a hole in my heart, compelling me to tell everyone I can how exquisite is this God that I love and serve.

What about you? How do fears paralyze you, hindering you from being and doing all God has called you to? I will stand with you in prayer in this fight against the enemy of our souls and destroyer of our dreams. We are a threat to Satan because we carry the source of life--Jesus--to a dark world.

My word to you today is: You can do this. You can be whatever the Lord has put in your heart. God is on your side. He believes in you and so do I. Just let Him love you into wholeness. 

You Can Do This, part 2

Wednesday I shared about my challenge of an empty tank after one year in the writing race. I asked God to show me if I was travelling in the right direction when I attended the ICWC last weekend…

God was faithful to answer my prayers for help and direction by a few divine connections. But the most exciting event of the weekend was when He spoke to me early Saturday morning as I poured my empty soul out to Him in my prayer journal. His words were short but clear, as usual: “You are trying too hard. You cannot force grace; it flows from My heart. It isn’t wrenched out by effort on your part. You can’t fill yourself or grow yourself up.”

Oh. I knew that. Then how did I forget so soon? I had allowed that pesky demon, fear into my life. Fear that I wasn’t good enough caused me to panic, blocking the flow of creativity. Fear that if I didn’t blog and post on Face Book a certain amount of time per day, no one would follow my blog, then I’d be a nobody from nowherseville, and no one would be willing to publish me, blah, blah, blah… Have you been there?

I’m happy to report: I'm still in the race. Not becuase I'm a better writer than anyone else out there, but because I made a decision to get rid of fear. I purposed in my heart to allow God’s grace to flow into my tank, filling me up with Him instead of trying to run this race myself. As I said on Monday, it's not about me. It's this gift He's given me, buring a hole in my heart, compelling me to tell everyone I can how exquisite this God is that I serve.

What about you? How do fears paralyze you, hindering you from being and doing all God has called you to? I will stand with you in prayer in this fight against the enemy of our souls and destroyer of our dreams. We are a threat to Satan because we carry the words of life to a dark world.

My word to you today is: You can do this. You can be a writer, or whatever else the Lord has put in your heart. God is on your side. He believes in you and so do I.

Ladies and Gentlemen, start your computers...

You Can Do This, part 1

When I attended the Indianapolis Christian Writers’ Conference last year, I returned home saying, “This Is What I Want to Do with My Life, Lord—BE A WRITER.” My tank was full of enthusiasm, my engines were revving, I was ready to jump in the driver’s seat and start the race. I committed to write an hour a day. That was one year ago.

In that year, I’ve sold several humor and devotional articles, finished my first book, written and rewritten two book proposals, signed a contract with my #1 choice for an agent, and finished 70% of my work in progress. I also blogged three times a week, visited others’ blogs one hour a day, increasing my blog following from eleven to over sixty, opened a Face Book account, and attended the famous Write to Publish Conference in Wheaton, IL where I gluttonized on information and inspiration from Those Who Know What They’re Doing.

And then I ran out of gas. Instead of saying, “This Is What I Want to Do with My Life, Lord,” I was asking, “Is this what I want to do with my life, Lord?” I wasn’t ready to drop out of the race yet. But I was running on fumes, my tires were flattened masses, and my enthusiasm was waning. I questioned the wisdom of attending this year’s ICWC, wondering if I’d benefit from it, or slow others down with my less-than-sporting attitude. I prayed a dozen times, “Lord, connect me with people who can give me some direction. Show me if I’m on the wrong track, or if I should even be in the race. Help me, please!” Come back Friday to find out if I left the race or am still driving…